Locker Room Rules

Sorry we haven't posted in a while. I know, I know - Christmas pictures right? Well they are still in the camera so I haven't uploaded any on the computer yet. Maybe soon. In the meantime, I thought I would start people thinking about locker room rules. Remember the email about the rules of picking the urinal in the men's room. Well I have a few rules about the locker room at the gym. The basic concept is that there need to be limits on nakedness in the locker room so here it goes:

1) Being naked in the locker room outside of the shower needs a time limit - 5 minutes max. Any more than that is just disturbing.

2) Its o.k. to be naked in shower - when you are done dry off and then wrap the towell around yourself and go to your locker to get your clothes.

3) The first item of clothing that you put on should be underwear. If you don't wear underwear, then put on a pair of pants. Under no circumstances should the first item of clothing be your socks! And especially - you should not be putting on your socks while standing up naked and attempting to balance on one leg. What the hell are you thinking??? Socks should be second to last - right before your shoes. If your worried about athlete's foot. Then get some damn flip flops!

4) Do not stand in front of the mirror naked while you are (a) brushing your teeth; (b) shaving; (c) brushing your hair; (d) waxing your head; (e) washing your glasses; (f) etc . . . . There is simply no need. Again Shower . . . towell . . . underwear - in that order. And no detours.

5) No naked conversations. Do not start one. If there is someone that you want to talk to - Have some courtesy and put on your underwear or a towell.

6) Ladies - about upper undergarments . . . . nevermind - you come up with your own rule.

7) Do not lean up against the sink counter naked - its gross. Even more gross - do not rest your beer gut on top of the sink counter while naked.

8) No naked dancing. If you have to do that - do it in the privacy of your own home.

9) No naked sitting on benches in the locker room. Dry yourself off then put on your underwear and then sit if you have to. Frankly you probably should be putting on your pants before you sit there anyway.

10) No locker room naked muscle flexing. No one wants to see that.

You may think I am joking. But I have actually witnessed people doing some of these things. Its not funny and I am serious. Every locker room should post these rules or some version of them. People need to be reminded - there is such a thing as ugly naked . . . no matter how good you think you might look.